Funny enough, I still listen to most of the songs in the below post fairly frequently. True staying power, them.
The past year I’ve been silent because, ironically, there was too much going on. There were too many things to try and process, good and bad, indeed, some things that will never ever be written about here because they’re just going to stay close to my heart, for li’l ol’ me, forever.
But in that which can be publicized, there was a Big Giant Show, my conservatory class triumph of a mainstage revue, the culmination of a year’s worth of work with people who have become some of my closest friends. I was wearing a knee brace thanks to an injury from one of those friends, sustained at a bar when I got handsy and really got what I deserved, an injury that damn near a year later is still causing my grief and a future trip to an MRI facility. I took the brace off in the middle of the show so that I could don high heels and a shoulderless dress for my monologue. I did the only monologue in the show.
I gained like 15 lbs. since then. I’ve lost 5 of them again.
I’ll have to shed the rest before I travel to Portugal with one of my closest friends, my husband, her cousin, and another friend, to celebrate her 30th birthday. I’m really looking forward to it.
Another dear close friend had her first child last summer. I arrived at the hospital in stage makeup to meet the little girl. But, as sweet and amusing as the baby is, she hasn’t changed my mind about having my own kids.
The other person in the list of people I would consider “best friends” went through a depression so severe that I was worried out friendship wouldn’t make it. We started filming some projects late in the summer, made it until the fall, and then finally had to address his issues surrounding motivations for the projects and his satisfaction with them, the industry, and his life as a whole.
And then I fell into my own depression just after Christmas. Family issues, lack of performing, weight gain and the shitty, brutal winter all came together in a perfect storm of lethargy, exhaustion and illness (I spent a week in bed with the worst flu I’ve ever had in January) that knocked my ass to the ground for months. I wasn’t motivated to perform, or even go to shows. I picked up some tasks at my job that I wasn’t trained nor suited to perform, and it stressed me out and damaged my confidence to be tasked with a job I couldn’t do. My husband switched jobs the end of February, a brand new industry after leaving the job he’d had for nine years, and the transition wasn’t as smooth as we’d hoped it would be. One of my new friends dumped me, and it hurt. Bad. Family drama erupted again, and I got stuck in the middle of it.
The good news is, change is coming, big change, and change that I’m excited about; After seven years in this apartment, Guy & I have bought our first condo and will be moving in about a month. The purchase wasn’t easy– we just narrowly managed to secure a mortgage thanks to the recent job change, there were some negotiations for the condo, a parking space had to be secured separately, there’s lots of work to be done on the unit, and our current landlords decided to be dicks about giving notice to vacate– but it’s got an office for Guy, ensuite laundry (once we buy the machines), a beautiful view of the city, and it’s in our dream neighbourhood. I’m excited to be within walking distance of my office, two minutes from some of my favorite shops, and stumbling distance from friends.
Today, I do my generals audition for Second City. This is the audition for everything SC offers– main stage, touring company, education company, cruise ship shows. I expect to get none of these, but I’m excited to play with new people today, and get involved in the industry in some way. The past week has actually been pretty good in that regard; I competed in a comedy competition last Monday with a brand new monologue, I spent the weekend at a horror convention where I was asked to sign a DVD cover and was recognized from my film, and today, audition.
And Friday, keys to the condo will be in hand.
And next Friday, my birthday.
And a few weeks after that, moving day.
And a few weeks after that, Portugal.
And after that, another weekend at our director’s cottage with my Second City classmates.
And after that, a week at the cottage with my friend, her baby, her husband, and our other couple friend.
And after that…. Who knows? The important thing, the current trend is positive. Finally.